Life in an apartment block

I live in a new apartment block in London. It's smart, clean and modern. But even this inanimate block of brick and mortar contains elements of the surreal and bizarre.

The underground car park, for example. Each day I do battle with the other apartment tennants over which space belongs to whom. There are no numbers on them, you see. I've had more notes stuck to the windscreen of my car than Santa Claus gets each Christmas.

A more entertaining aspect of my apartment block is the lift. It has, approximately, a floor space of one square foot. So imagine the unease when a couple of Englishmen clamber into the tight confirms and are forced to stand unconfortably close to each other for what seems like five years. Occasionally, I will start a conversation with the other occupant (who is always carrying a full rubbish bag, despite going UP). The conversation soon dies when I realise I have nothing in common with the other apartment owner... except the close proxmity means we are virtually in a relationship.

Excess soil

After planting a new tree, a council worker wonders where all the excess soil came from.

(Photo taken today by me in local Tesco car park)

Why knock?

An additional piece of information about my interview. I was waiting in the interview room for the second interviewer. The hyper guy had just left, presumably to jump in the Thames and swim to France and back.

As I waited, someone knocked on the door. Opening it and leaning in, the man said my second interviewer was held up but would be down shortly. After he left I wondered to myself: why did he knock? I was obviously alone in the room, as he had come down to tell me the interviewer was delayed. What did he think I was doing in the room that warranted him knocking before entering? Actually, don't answer that.

Interviewed by a coffee addict

I've just come back from a job interview in the City of London. It was for a well-known, huge firm. The interview was in a skyscraper and it was my attempt to see if I wanted to leave teaching (albeit temporarily).

I was interviewed by a guy who had either consumed four gallons of strong black coffee, or was a heavy drug user. He was hyper, hyper like a hummingbird. He was shaking, spoke quickly and could have done three laps of the the interview room in two seconds flat. He asked me some ridiculously difficult questions, including the following. Please remember, I have no background in economics, nor did the job require me to have that knowledge!

"In terms of negative equity and fiscal policy, what are the benefits and drawbacks of Britain joinging the ERM?"

My excellent answer was: "What's the ERM?". I await with hope to see if i got the job. I won't be holding my breath.

Why cowsled?

What does Cowsled mean? How is it pronounced? And is it something obscene, a sport or something else?

Cowsled is a word created by me and a friend. We were reading a puzzle which gave the word 'sled' and asked where the word 'cow' fits in to make a new word. The answer is 'scowled' but we were convinced 'cowsled' was the real answer. To us, cowsled was either a sleigh shaped like a cow, or someone who is bemused and confused. The latter is the truth, and it is me! I am cowsled!

'Cowsled' is prenounced like 'tousled', with a soft 'l'.

The lady likes a skip

I was walking along the pavement, on my way back from the Tube station a few days ago when I noticed a skip ahead of me. As I approached I saw a middle aged lady nearing the skip from the opposite direction. We reached the skip at the same time. I passed the skip, the lady decided to climb inside. As I watched, she began sifting through the contents. It wasn't even her skip!

I did the decent thing: took another bite from my Aero chocolate bar and moved on!

The 'Good' Shepherd

I've just seen the new Robert De Niro-directed film The Good Shepherd. It was rubbish. Can I use expletives on Blogger? It was shit. People were leaving before the two-and-a-half hour film was finished, and the girl behind me said to her friend 'this is SO boring'.

It wouldn't have been too bad but the guy sitting to my right was incredibly annoying. He was sitting unconfortably close. Too close. Near the end of the film I expected him to turn to me and ask to sit on my lap.

All in all, a wonderful trip to the cinema!